LADYBIRD

I received an invite to my 50th high school reunion the other day.

I didn’t go.

I looked at it. I contemplated it, then deleted it.

I went to the last one 30 years ago. Should’ve stayed home.

For perspective, let me take you back to the trauma of my Grade 8 gym class.

We’re all in the locker room putting on our gym clothes, and everywhere I look, girls are wearing bras.

Everyone, that is, except me because I had nothing to put in one.

I’m sitting there wearing my Ladybird undershirt with the little ladybug sewn onto the front. I loved that undershirt. Right up until that moment.

The finger pointing and laughing that happened in that locker room that day and every gym class through Grade 8 has stayed with me for 30 years.

So when the invitation arrived for the reunion 30 years ago, I was chomping at the bit to go.

I was going to show my gym class tormentors.

The Ladybird had flown the coop and, finally, there was a bra in its place.

I was ready to make my entrance.

When I got to the reception desk to get my name tag and yes, I recognized every one of those 13-year-old antagonists, not only did they not remember me, they spelled my name wrong.

I had spent 30 years stuck in a locker room, ashamed of my body, while everyone else had moved on and become a grown-ass woman. Everyone that is except me.

I was still that 13-year-old girl, standing there, wearing a tag with my name spelled wrong.

I had wasted 30 years crying over my 13-year-old body and its rate of development.

They say with age comes wisdom, but apparently I hadn’t received that memo before the first reunion.

I did for the 50th but just barely.

There was a moment, an actual moment, when I contemplated going.

I wanted to tell them that I’m the founder of an underwear company.

All these years later, I was still seeking affirmation from those girls.

Why?

As women, we need to stop seeking external affirmation, especially when it comes to our bodies.

The only opinion that should matter about how our bodies change, develop, look, is our own.

We spend so much of our lives trying to live up to unrealistic beauty standards that we neglect and under appreciate the natural beauty we already embody.

We need to stop.

Stop wasting our time trying to fit someone else’s opinion of what a woman’s body should look like.

The older you get, the more you regret the time you wasted worrying about the stupidest things, like Grade 8 gym class.

Live your life.

Time is precious.

Wear your Ladybird undershirt with pride and never let anyone tell you, you’re not perfect just the way you are.